Today is my 4th wedding anniversary. It has been an amazing and interesting ride. I have learned more in the past 4 years than I did in the 29 previous years. I know more about my self; my strengths and my weaknesses. Marriage is a vocation because it is a path to holiness. As I look over my life, I see that God gave me the husband that I need, the one who would make me a saint. My husband loves me with an authentic love. He wills my good. I just tend to fight back at times, just like when I sin. My husband sees my struggles from the outside and wants to help me break free of them to become a better version of myself.
I did not get married until I was 29. I met my husband and we were engaged within two months of dating and married in 10 months. He was 33. We were both older and knew what we were looking for. Our Catholic Faith reigned supreme in a hunt for a spouse. It had not always been that way for either of us, but God guided us to one another through our broken experiences. Getting married later can be a struggle. I am fiercely independent. I had lived all over and taken care of myself for over a decade, so even though I love my husband, I struggle with that part of me. The part that is torn by pride. I can do it myself. I have ALWAYS done it by myself. But, that is not God’s vision for marriage and it creates struggles.
God gave me my husband to teach me healthy dependence on another person, so that I may more fully embrace total dependence on God. Marriage and family life is a reflection of the Holy Trinity. It is meant to be a total self-donation. I am to serve until I am spent, and then give more. Now, in my sinful nature, I struggle to overcome my desire to do it my way. I struggle to let go of my personal addictions. They seem small to our culture: too much sugar or too much social media, but they aren’t. My husband knows that because he sees the impact on me. He also knows that to grow in holiness we must detach from earthly things and learn to appreciate them in a healthy way. My husband is a lot wiser than I am.
I am thankful to be celebrating 4 years with the man I know God gave me. We have a beautiful daughter who is teaching us more and more how to be open to love and sacrifice. I will continue to embrace this amazing and difficult vocation that Our Lord has given me. I am reminded of the words of the priest’s Homily at our Nuptial Mass: “It is your job to lead one another to Heaven”. Happy Anniversary, Babycakes! I love you muches!