Catholic Exchange: Mary and the Intolerable Gift of Waiting

The Church has an entire season dedicated to waiting: Advent. This season not only reflects the waiting for the coming of Our Savior and the hope of the Paschal Mystery, but the reality that much of this life contains periods of waiting. This waiting may be something joyful, such as waiting for the birth of a child or a marriage. The waiting may be a period of intense trial and suffering as we wait to see if a loved one is going to die or recover from an illness. This waiting may feel agonizing, especially for those of us still crawling down the path to holiness.

Mary our guide

As frequent readers know, I am in a period of waiting. There are days it is agonizing and days that I sense God’s presence and love. It dawned on me in my impatience for answers about my husband, that God uses waiting to allow us to enter more deeply into communion with Him. If we focus on the anxiety and fear of the unknown, we will be robbed of the serenity and comfort of our God who walks with us during these trials. I realized this truth when I looked out my window and saw the sunflowers blooming in the garden. Their stillness and beauty in the morning light reminded me to enter into God’s love while I wait. It is not easy, but it is necessary. It is not a journey we walk alone. Lumen Gentium tells us rightly that Mary is our guide and a guide for the Church. St. John Paul II furthers this teaching in Redemptoris Mater 5:

Mary “has gone before,” becoming “a model of the Church in the matter of faith, charity and perfect union with Christ.” This “going before” as a figure or model is in reference to the intimate mystery of the Church, as she actuates and accomplishes her own saving mission by uniting in herself-as Mary did-the qualities of mother and virgin. She is a virgin who “keeps whole and pure the fidelity she has pledged to her Spouse” and “becomes herself a mother,” for “she brings forth to a new and immortal life children who are conceived of the Holy Spirit and born of God.”

Read the rest over at Catholic Exchange.

Catholic Exchange: Waiting on the Lord During Easter

Christ is risen! Alleluia! We have entered into the great and joyful season of Easter. It is a time of re-birth and hope as we live the Resurrection. We rest in the truth and wonder that sin and death are conquered by Jesus Christ and that all things are being made new. Even in this great joy, there are many of us who are still in a period of waiting. While God renews the face of the earth, we must still live in a Fallen world. Our joy is often tinged with uncertainty and suffering. It is indeed possible to feel joy and sorrow at the same time. Joy contains within it the sting of homesickness as God reminds us that this is not our final home. Beauty is often mingled with heart-break as our souls soar towards Heaven, but still await the Beatific Vision. How do we live our joy and our waiting?

Rest in the Word of God.

Many of us are waiting on the Lord to act or respond in a certain area of our lives. It may be a cancer diagnosis, desire for a child or parent to return to or enter the Church, a new job, a relationship, infertility, or any other number of situations. My husband and I are waiting, patiently and not so patiently, on God’s will in adoption. The joy of the Easter season can contain within it, periods of the Cross. We can rest assured in this period of waiting that God is conforming us to Himself and drawing us close.
Since it is Easter and the celebration of the reason for our hope, meditating on the Word of God is critical. Take time to read the Resurrection accounts in the Gospels. Imagine being at the tomb on that first Easter morning. Walk with the Apostles as they meet the risen Lord. Hear the Lord call you by name, as He did St. Mary Magdalene. We must allow the Word of God to permeate our souls as we wait for answers. Meditating on the Resurrection allows God to fill our hearts with the joy of Easter.

Pray without ceasing.

We are called to trust in God. Remember that we killed God and nailed Him to the Cross and He came back in forgiving love to redeem each one of us. He loves each one of us and everything He does is for our own good and sanctification. Keeping this truth in mind allows us to turn to Him in every aspect of our daily lives. We must learn to breathe out prayers every moment of the day. It can be as simple as speaking the name of Jesus or offering up the dishes for our prayer intention or the needs of others. In moments when our waiting seems overwhelming, we need to turn to Our Lord in prayer. He knows the needs and wants deep within our hearts, but He wants us to ask for them. We can speak openly with Him, even in our struggles and frustrations. He wants to draw close to us and to fill our hearts with the joy of Easter, even in our waiting.

Read the rest over at Catholic Exchange.

Life is Full of Waiting Right Now

My husband and I are in a time of waiting, which is appropriate for this Lenten season. The doctors have still not found the cause for why my dad is so sick and so we wait, try not to worry (super hard), and leave it to God’s loving care. We are also in the middle of negotiating the purchase of the small farm we have always wanted. If we buy the house, which is right in our price range, but much larger than we need (I trust God will help us to use it well) then we will be uprooting our lives from the community we have known for six years. I am used to moving every 3 years or so and this is the longest I have lived anywhere since I was 18, but it is still a major change if it goes through.

We live in an area of the Appalachians that is filled with small communities and farms as well as a small city nearby. This house is an hour from our current home and we would have to switch to a mission parish (we live in Baptist country so Catholic Churches are spread out) and to a small town way of life. The farm is three miles from a small artisan town near the Blue Ridge Parkway. Living near the Parkway is a huge bonus! Lots of hiking!

The house has everything we could possibly need and more. At 3700 square feet it is palatial for our tiny family, but we are still discerning adoption. We need room for a homeschool classroom and an office for me to work more diligently on my writing career after I complete my Master’s next year. My husband is a skilled wood-turner and he will have space to grow in his craft.

The “old” farmhouse (built in 1910), this still makes me laugh after living in Europe for a spell, sits on 10 beautiful acres complete with pond. The land is rolling and perfect for animals and our garden. I have never lived in the country. I am from the largest “city” in Montana: Billings, population 100,000. My dad was an attorney for most of my young life, so we weren’t farmers. I did learn to love gardening and flowers from my mother who has an amazing green thumb.

Right now we wait for the owners to accept or counter our offer. It’s more waiting added onto the waiting on my dad’s condition. This Lent has been a difficult one for me as I try to learn patience in the face of the unknown. It’s also a time for us to decide on which dream to pursue long-term. We have always discussed starting a small farm, even when Phil and I were dating, but it is hard to leave our parish community and the connections we have made here. It would also mean a probable end to my homeschool co-op membership here. I may try the hour long drive for a while, but it may get to be too much and we will have to be more creative in very rural Virginia.

I always covet prayers, so please offer some up for us. The Solemnity of St. Joseph is next week and he has been an ever growing friend these past few weeks in dealing with my father’s confusing illness and the possible uprooting of our family. May God continue to bless you.