It is Small Success Thursday over at CatholicMom.com. Come share this week’s small successes with us.
This week was a travel week for my husband. Thankfully he is home for a while, but things get a little topsy-turvy when he is on the road. I managed to actually get some sleep while he was gone. I slept fine for years in my own apartment alone, but now I am a restless sleeper when he travels, even though I am packing heat if necessary. I guess a lot of wives get used to the security of their husbands.
Our daughter gets irritable when he is gone too. She did pretty well until yesterday afternoon. By the time he got home, she was in full blown defiant toddler mode. Today she is back to her happy go-lucky self. She did not even fight me when I put her down for a nap.
So even with this crazy week, here are some successes.
1. We did our “Biggest Loser” weigh-in and I am down 6lbs. Only 24 to go to my goal. I have not been as strict about my diet as I need to be. My husband has been doing great and I keep praying for the grace to be more disciplined. I have started adding exercise back in, which should help. Plus, my daughter always wants me to dance with her to The Wiggles. How can I say no to that?!
2.I have been avoiding TV for the most part. I occasionally watch re-reruns of The Middle, which I think is ridiculous and hysterical, while I cook dinner at 5pm. Other than that I have been reading. I finished The Walk series and now I am reading a book about protecting our daughters (and really our sons) for a CatholicMom.com book review. Look for the review and a book giveaway in the coming weeks!
3. Speaking of protecting daughters and sons, I wrote a letter to all daughters this morning on my blog. The link is below this post. Reading this book has reminded me of a lot of experiences of my teen years and twenties that I have blocked out as I focused on marriage and my daughter. However, those experiences came flying back with a vengeance and have convicted me that we must fight the culture with everything we have in order to protect our children. We as Catholics cannot become comfortable or complacent in our homes, especially if our children are in public schools. Do you know what your kids are taught in sex ed? Have you asked? Have you looked at the materials? Does your child’s school hand out birth control? Has your child witnessed or heard about domestic violence? Is pornography “normalized” in school? Is masturbation? What is a good age for your kids to date? Are your children reading books they shouldn’t? Have you read your school’s recommended reading list? It might surprise you! Why do I bring this up? Have you discussed dating violence and abuse with your child? I say this because a lot of us are either blind or willfully ignorant about what is going on in the culture around us. Let me tell you a story.
I served in the US Navy for 6 years, but even before that, my first experience of meeting a girl who was being beaten by her boyfriend was when I was 15 years old. We were in gym class together. I saw her black eye and bloody lip and knew what was going on. Her track star boyfriend was beating her. I asked her about it. She knew that she needed to get away from him, but her own mother was in an abusive relationship. I did not have the knowledge or understanding to help her. I should have gone to a counselor or teacher, but I didn’t. I did not know what to do. I pray she is okay.
While in the Navy, I was introduced to a sexually amoral culture. It is the same in college, don’t kid yourself, especially public schools. Pornography is rampant and is considered acceptable. In fact, my Marine friends would compete over who had the largest porn collection. Promiscuity, rampant, to include orgies. I was living chastely, which made dating extremely difficult. I had at least 3 roommates who had either been sexually abused or raped. They were all acting out their pain in a promiscuous and risky manner. I tried to help where I could. I had a roommate who had slept with enough men to fill a platoon. That is over 40 men. She was deeply hurting. I still pray for her. There were women who had been with so many guys in one weekend they did not know who the father of their child was. These women are someone’s daughter and need our love and help.
In the last 15 years, at least 5 women have confided in me that they were assaulted or sexually abused. That is what I know of. I suspect more, but have not asked. I wait for them to come to me. These women believed that it was normal for men to use them and that hook ups were okay, healthy even. They were miserable. Binge drinking was also common place. I thank God that the few times I binge drank that someone kept me safe from harm. I had good friends.
Our culture has put it in men’s and women’s minds that sex is required in dating, or even a given. I have had countless men tell me that I needed to put out. I didn’t and made it through the Navy unscathed. I did not cave until I was 26 and lived with a boyfriend. The biggest regret of my life. Thankfully God is merciful, loving, and forgiving. I am vehemently opposed to cohabitation because of my own experiences, and my understanding of marriage.
What is my point? My point is that the culture at large wants the hearts and minds of our children. The pressure to engage in sexual activity, even risky sexual activity is immense. Sex ed classes are touting sexual freedom as liberating and bringing happiness. All I have seen is pain and despair. Have you taught your children the Church’s beautiful teaching on human sexuality: the Truth? Are you talking to your kids about this? Are you monitoring what your kids read or do on the Internet? 50 Shades of Grey is going through high schools like wildfire. It is pornography and normalizes S&M. Men are looking at pornography, even violent pornography, at staggering rates. Have you spoken to your sons and daughters about porn? This is dangerous for both sexes, but especially women. It can create violent men. In fact, almost all violent offenders report being addicted to violent pornography. Do you monitor what shows your children watch? Shows like How I Met Your Mother glamorize promiscuity and the abuse of women. Our children see this and start to believe that they should live this way too. After all, everyone else is doing it. Most shows these days believe that teenagers having sex is a given. This should horrify parents. Shut these shows off and show your kids real love.
I feel am very passionate about this if you cannot tell. Not just because of my own mistakes, but because of what I have witnessed. These threats are very real, whether you live in a rural area, suburbs, or a city. Talk to your children. Be open! The antidote to a culture that has gone mad is Theology of the Body. Check it out. Arm yourself with the weapons of Truth and Joy that is in Christ Jesus.
To bring a Culture of Life to the world, we must first bring it to our own families, starting with our children.
Please take the time to read my letter to our daughters here and share it. I will write a letter to sons very soon.
Dear Daughters (the iPad would not let me hyperlink) https://swimmingthedepths.wordpress.com/2014/01/23/dear-daughters-a-letter-to-girls-teens-and-young-women-in-their-dating-years/
Theology of the Body: http://www.tobinstitute.org