I am a firm believer that women should compliment their husbands in public and voice struggles either in private with their husband or with a trusted friend if counsel is needed. If people hear me griping about my husband constantly it will change their view of him and that is wrong. Not to mention that marital disputes are private. With that in mind, I must confess that I am terrible at complimenting my husband in our conversations. I struggle with compliments with most people, except my 3 year old. Perhaps she is teaching me how to be better?
I can’t explain precisely why compliments are hard for me, and that includes taking them. It is not that I don’t have positive thoughts about people, although, I will admit to a few periods of gloom in my lifetime. This is on my mind, firstly, because my Confessor told me to work on it, and secondly, because my husband sacrifices a lot and he deserves my praise.
My husband has had to give up a lot while I go to graduate school full-time. He no longer gets Saturdays to tinker in the garage or work in the garden without our daughter. Instead, he runs errands, grocery shops, and keeps our daughter entertained while I study. He does this throughout the week too, while I study. It’s hard on me too. I have to sacrifice a lot of family time for the next 1.75 years. I get 3 months off a year and I need to make the most of that time. But, my husband works 50-60 hours a week, sometimes has to travel for work, and then comes home to take over for me so that I can hit the books. He is amazing and I need to make him more aware of that fact.
In my studies, I can get tunnel vision. I have a paper due this week! I actually have two due this week and one next week, followed by final exams. So my head is not exactly in the vocational game as it should be. Our daughter has started the difficult period of 3 years of age and has started throwing tantrums and lying. This is a time when really learning how to parent is crucial. While my head has been a bit distracted, my husband has really risen to the occasion.
This morning my daughter threw a couple of different tantrums and screaming fits. I texted my husband in exasperation. He clearly and reasonably explained the situation to me. I wasn’t paying attention like I should be. Our daughter is learning independence, but she is scared too. Her mommy is now studying and taking care of the family. That is a big change. So we need to teach her authentic freedom, but make sure that she knows we are here if she needs us. I listened to my brilliant husband and I was so grateful that I married him. God gave me this guy because he knows how to help me grow. He knows how to take the reins, when I need to sit and take the ride. Our daughter is in good hands.
So my small success for this week, is opening up my eyes to the man God gave me. The one who sacrifices so much for our daughter and me. The man who pushes me to dream, holiness, and selflessness. The one who is keeping (always does) this ship on course while I study away. My husband is awesome!
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